It’s not a feeling of being unwanted. It’s a feeling of not belonging. Craving to belong, yet at the same time too stubborn to conform. Wary of giving up my freedom, for it seems that that would be necessary in order to fit in. It’s exhausting. But I will never stop wanting to be unique and different – the true me.
That’s why I go to the sea. She never asks questions, never gets upset when I haven’t come by in a long time. She’s simply always there. She’s deep, and wide, and playful. She’s beautiful; she can be terrifying or soothing. I can’t keep a worry on my mind while I listen to her rhythmic rushing. In many ways, she’s like my Comforter. As long as I can keep hearing her calm, steady voice in the background, I can keep a sane mind. I can deal with the hurdles life throws me. And I can sense deep inside that I belong. Here, now, and forever.